Thursday

The other day I was asking myself if what I was doing here was good.  I wondered if I was making an impact on the kids or if I was helping them at all.  And then Thursday happened.
Because of some major protests in the area not all of our kids were able to come yesterday, which enabled me to spend some quality time with each of the kids that were there.  One of the girls was struggling with math homework so for the first time since I've been here I was able it help with homework.  Thank goodness math is the same in any language.  It was so fun to walk her through each problem and see the light come on as she began to figure things out for herself.  It was such a blessing to be able to connect with her and feel her genuine gratitude.
At the end of the day I left the site at the same time as 5 of the kids.  Unbeknownst to me, because I didn't understand what they were telling me, they had decided to walk me to my bus stop.  They held my hand, led me to the corner, and didn't leave my side until the bus came.  I said my evening goodbyes and then climbed onto the bus thinking they'd turned around and headed for home.  But as I took a seat, a rare open one by the window, my eye caught small rapid movements.  The kids were still there, all waving at me vigorously with giant smiles on their faces.
Lovely doesn't even begin to describe the feeling I had.  The work here can be hard, exhausting, and sometimes confusing but those little moments make it all worth it and remind me that this is truly a good thing.

Grandpa

A week ago I celebrated my 25th birthday which means the other day, the 23rd of May, was the 17 year anniversary of my baptism into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Choosing to be baptized by immersion, to take upon myself Christ's name, and to follow Him was no doubt the best decision I've ever made.
I wish I could say that I've never taken the covenants I made that day for granted but sadly, as is relatable to anyone reading this, that's not the case.  As an average girl I've had my fair share of weak moments.  Moments when I doubt more than I believe.  Moments when fear rules over faith.  And moments when I've lost sight of Christ's love for me.  Which is why I'm so grateful for so many positive and loving examples in my life that help me along the way.
It's this time of year, surrounding my baptism day, that I'm always starkly reminded of two of the brightest examples of faith, love, wisdom, and discipleship in my life.  Seventeen years ago I had the privilege of hearing both of my grandpas speak at my baptism.  I don't remember every word they said but I'll never forget the feeling that was there because it's a feeling I encounter whenever I'm in the presence of one of my grandpas.

At my baptism seventeen years ago my grandpa Schultz began his talk by looking directly at me and saying, "Nicole, you and I are going to have a chat..."  I remember that moment so clearly because I could feel his genuine love for me and the sacred topic he was about to share with me.  It was a special moment as he focused solely on teaching me an important principle of the gospel.  He didn't care that there were many others watching and listening, he simply wanted to help me understand the great gift I'd just been given.
This is something I continue to feel from him every day.  He is a quiet, humble man who shares the gospel with others around him through true charity and good works.  His good works are often unnoticed because he does not seek attention, he simply aims to help those he loves.  Recently, despite his own means and his own needs, he unselfishly provided me with financial support to help me pursue a dream.  This to me was just one of many of Christlike actions he's taken because it was
done in pure love and no glory was sought in return.  His love for Christ shone bright through that act of kindness because of his own pure love and selflessness.


The other speaker at my baptism, my grandpa Gwynn, is also a great pillar of faith on which I lean and look up to.  That day he spoke with such certainty and knowledge which has helped carry me through the last seventeen years.  Recently he stood in front of a crowd of people and declared unwavering faith in Jesus Christ as our Saviour and Redeemer.  This was a crowd of people mourning the loss of a son, father, brother, uncle and friend and was composed mostly of people who were wandering through life without any direction.
In a world of confusion and darkness I am filled with so much admiration for the bravery of my grandpa.  He wasn't worried about what people might think of his beliefs.  He wasn't afraid to stand and let his light shine for so many people that needed it.  His faith in Christ emanated from him to fill the room with peace and comfort.

Earthly words and feelings could never accurately describe the love and gratitude I have for these two men. For the faith they had to listen when truth knocked on their doors a few short decades ago.  And
for the faith they continue to exercise every day as they not only follow Christ, but as they act as true disciples of Him.

Just Call Me Tía

I absolutely adore working with the children here in Peru.  My project site is on the outskirts of the city and the kids that come here come from extremely poor families.  These children are extremely sweet but many struggle with learning because they do not come from an environment that supports it.  Yet they still come to this program everyday after school to continue to try and learn.  They come from many different directions by many methods, walking, city bus etc.  There are even a few who are only allowed to come if they bring their baby/ toddler siblings with them so it's not uncommon for  an eight year old boy to stop doing his homework to check on his baby brother taking a nap in the corner. 

It often gets frustrating for me when I try and communicate with them because I'm constantly running into a giant cement barrier called language.  It can be quite aggravating when a child asks for help with homework or when I want to talk to them about their days.  But I've learned nothing from traveling if not that there's more to communication than language.  Even though it can be hard, my insecurities about Spanish are nonexistent in comparison to the things these children face everyday and still manage to smile.  Although their speech is just an extremely fast blur of sounds that I'm not convinced are words, there is in fact one word I've managed to distinguish.  It's a word that I hear at least 50 times a day, tía.  The children are constantly referring to me and the other volunteer as tía.  I assumed that it meant teacher, but when I looked it up it translated to aunt or auntie.  

I'm so flattered that these kids are willing to refer to me as an aunt, someone close to them.  They couldn't care less that I don't understand, they just care that I'm there.  I'm there to redirect them to homework or put an arm around them when they're frustrated.  I'm there to play games with them and help them learn English.  Being there is something so simple for me, but to them it's something precious and rare.  

I don't understand much but I'm honored to be called tía for the next month!

Help needed!

This is just a quick blog to briefly describe my first day of volunteer work.

The bus ride to my project site is just under an hour.  The bus takes us to the outskirts of the city into the ghetto of the ghetto of the ghetto.  Seriously.  When I arrived yesterday I wasn't even all the way through the door, which basically serves as a hole in a cement wall, before a little girl jumped up on me and hugged me.  She wouldn't let me put her down for almost 15 minutes and when I finally did she kissed me on the cheek first.  When the project site manager introduced me, the children cheered and were genuinely grateful to have me there even though I couldn't understand them.   I spent the afternoon helping children with their homework (mostly just trying to keep them focused), playing games with them that would help them improve their English, and most importantly teaching them about hygiene.  I got to spend time teaching them how to properly wash their heads and brush their teeth so they can learn the importance of taking care of one's self.

The biggest thing I learned is how much attention these kids needs.  They didn't need me to understand them they just needed me to be there for them. This project site and others in this area are desperate for more volunteers so I'm making one more plea to help us get my sister here with me!
Please check out www.volunteerforever.com/volunteer_profile/nicole-gwynn

Hope for Peru!

"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much!" -Helen Keller

Hope is something that we actively do every day.  Whether it's for a new car, victory of our favorite team, or simply for the sun to shine in the morning, we hope.  It is the very basis for life because without hope, there is no motivation, with no motivation there is no progression.  Hope is the key that ignites our motivation and motivation is the gas pedal that leads us to better places.  "Better places" can take on many different meanings for different people.  One can search for better places in his/her relationship or search for a better place in the work force.  One can seek a better place in his/her belief system or a better place to establish home.
As humans it is inherent in us to seek such better places because as children of God we've been sent to this earth to learn, to grow, and to progress.  And as we do so, we do with hope.

Sadly there are many of our fellow children who lack hope.  This lack is delivered by a train of disappointments and negative circumstances.  Negative circumstances that they don't necessarily deserve but ones they've inherited in their time on this earth.  One could easily ask how God could allow his children to live without hope but the answer to that is simple.  He doesn't.  Yes He sent us to this earth and yes He is all powerful.  But he also gave us the gift to make our own choices and promises to respect that. He also blesses us with the knowledge and ability to help others so we may learn and grow together.   With these gifts, those of us that have experienced hope everyday can choose to share that with our brothers and sisters who have either lost it along the way or have yet to experience its fruits. 

This is something my sister and I HOPE to do this coming May with the beautiful children of Peru.  These children have fallen victim to circumstances that they cannot control due to the poor choices of the people who were supposed to care for them.  These children are sent to live in orphanages because their parents have chosen to live dangerous lifestyles surrounding alcohol and abuse or they have themselves have fallen victim to severe poverty.
These children are living in conditions that leave much to be desired, that is if the children had any knowledge or hope of better things that could be desired.   With the volunteer program that we have joined we can do just that.  We can serve in these orphanages and work directly with these children.  While working with them we can show them the possibilities of a better place in life that comes with education and love.  As we educate them they will learn skills that can help them lead a better life without poverty, abuse, neglect, or alcohol.  And as we love them they can begin to feel what hope really is and begin to hope for better places themselves. 

If you are one who hopes then I ask you sincerely to reflect on the quote at the top as well as the light that hope brings into your life.  As you do this please consider helping us in bringing hope into the lives of the children in Cuzco, Peru.  Though we we will be working with a small number of orphans in comparison their population of the world, it is profoundly better than helping none.  And if only one is able to lead a better life with the hope we can bring him/her then all of our efforts will have been worth it.

Purchase your t-shirt at www.bonfirefunds.com/hope-for-peru and stand with us as God's representatives of hope.  With every t-shirt purchase you will be helping us bring hope into the lives of children and pushing despair over the edge by funding our efforts to demonstrate love and bring education to these children.  If we reach our goal of at least 100 shirts sold... I will symbolically push despair over the edge by facing a fear and participating in the highest bungee jump in South America!!
Help us push despair over the edge to make room for HOPE!!!

At Season's End

This past weekend I had the opportunity of working as a statistician for a regional basketball tournament.  This is something I've been privileged to to do many times and it is something I enjoy immensely.  I enjoy watching the different teams as they all come into the tournament with unique experiences, dynamics, and philosophies.  I love observing the various coaching behaviors and how each coach's players respond to his or her methods of teaching and communication.  I love getting to know each of the participants by way of their statistical patterns.  But the two things I love and enjoy most of all are, first, seeing the varying levels of effort and heart put into the game by each individual player as they realize their season is near it's end, and second, the love and dedication that a good coach has for each of his players.

With his own set of experiences, skills, and motivations for playing the game, each player is uniquely his own.  An individual brings an element to the tournament that only he can provide and within that element is hidden an exclusive goal shaped by their own personalities and values.  These individual players combine their goals for a season with a team that they've chosen to participate in and represent.  Some teams merge their individual goals with harmonious synergy, while others' merge as successfully as two negatively charged magnets.  Even still, within the tournament itself each team comes together to fight for one ultimate goal.  With the assorted elements of each player and team colliding in every match-up, each game has the potential to be, and many are, a battle to the final buzzer.  Some fight honorably and fair while others leave a black mark on the name and colors they've chosen to represent. 

After watching one spectacular competition after another I couldn't help but actively observe the habits, efforts, and attitudes of one particular player.  This player is one whose reputation precedes him and one whose appearance deceives many.  The roster would indicate that he is young man, arguably a kid still, though his features would appear to write a different story.  Whenever he takes the court, opponents can be seen as visibly nervous for fear that they are facing a man not just a boy.  He captivated the crowed with his physical stature but it was the great deal of effort he put into his personal and team goals in every match-up that earned their respect and admiration.  His fair share of mistakes were made no doubt, but successes were also realized as he bounced back from each one with resounding fight.
But it was in his final moment of competition that my attention was truly caught.  I saw as pain and exhaustion set in at the realization that it was over.  He had fought so hard and left every ounce of himself on the court.  So when that whistle indicated his time was done, he had nothing left to cope with the impending uncertainty and disappointment.  The tightly packed and captivated crowd watched as a player known for his composure buried his face in the drastically smaller shoulder of his leader and mentor, his coach.  It was a sight to behold as a comical reminder of his physical maturity and as an endearing moment between a young boy and a coach who truly empathized with his every emotion; a coach who loved and comforted his boy at the season's end.

We've all been blessed with unique lives bundled with experiences that shape who we are and who we want to be.  Each and every single one of us is a child of God with our own personal element to bring to this earth.  We are molded as we go through various battles of this great tournament.  In this life we are given opportunities to experience, we are given trials to overcome, and we are given the opportunity to fight for our goals.  Some goals are exclusive to an individual while some are formed in a unit.  As we all work towards our goals in life, both temporal and eternal, I think of the tournament boys and wonder, "which type of player am I?"
Am I one who soils the name I've chosen to represent by infecting others with my attitude?  Am I one who leaves no mark at all because my fighting style is passive?  Or am I like the one who gives everything until there is nothing left to give, fighting with gusto until that last buzzer rings? 

It is my hope that we can and will all choose to be the latter.  Though we may be small like a child or grown like a man, we are all children of God, our Heavenly Coach.  It is also my belief and testimony that if we choose to be the one who fights with vigor every second on the clock, there will be one waiting for each of us, small and large alike, to crumble in His arms at the sound of the buzzer.  One who knows us each by name.  One who knows our habits, goals, and statistics as players in this great tournament.  One who can truly empathize with the joys that follow each success and the sorrow tacked onto the end of a disappointment.  One whose name we must consciously decide to emblazon our jersey with each day.  If we leave everything we have on the court with His name on our backs, He will be there, like a coach for his boy to comfort us and tell us that all will be well at season's end. 

Tattered Edges and Fingerpringts

Tattered edges and fingerprints are the first thing that I see;
I hold in my hand, pictures so dear reflecting you and me.
Worn and torn, sprinkled with teardrop stains, these pictures with me go
Around the world and back again, through sunshine, rain or snow.

Tattered edges and fingerprints cover the one on the left,
The oldest of all, reflecting the most beautiful theft.
Stealing hearts of all that see timeless friendship in you and me,
Foam curlers, fleece jammies, and smiles, forever friends we will be.

Tattered edges and fingerprints create the most perfect frame
For our deep, brown, glistening eyes with just innocence to claim.
Our baby teeth smile so wide, reflecting on our little joys,
Games, movies, swimming and sleepovers, but not yet stinky boys.

Tattered edges and fingerprints and this time teardrop stains,
Accompany the one in the middle, a day not lived in vain.
Our bright smiles followed our tears, remembering a brother lost,
Holding tight to family and friends as Heaven's boundary was crossed.

Tattered edges and fingerprints in early stage to the right,
Much older then, than the ones on the left, but smiles just as bright.
Ringlets replace our curlers, long dresses replace our jammies,
A fun night filled with laughter and boys, moments you helped me seize. 

Tattered edges and fingerprints don't touch the one on the end
It portrays a recent time, a flat tire our plans did suspend.
Though our lips curve down, twinkling eyes radiate our laughter,
We found the spare, then with blank stares, wondered what to do after.

Tattered edges and fingerprints, display appreciation,
For good times had, hard times survived in this and other nations.
No longer children, innocence faded, dark eyes and bright smiles,
Will emanate and carry forth our friendship for miles and miles.

Tattered edges and fingerprints, the best part of these pictures,
Emblems of reflection, never being confined by strictures. 
In times of strife or loneliness, these pictures I hold in hand,
Portray the memories of you and me that will always stand.